On #BellLetsTalk AND Money
I saw several people posting about how capitalist the #bellletstalk campaign is. And yes, it is extremely good publicity for Bell. But in my opinion, they deserve it. They donate something like 7 million dollars a year to mental health initiatives? That's insane. And mental health research doesn't have the backing cancer research does. And at least 85% of my friends and family has been affected by mental illness. 1 in 5 people will develop a mental disorder and suicide is the most common cause of death from ages 18-24. Shouldn't we be protecting our youth?!
Obviously cancer research is extremely important. But I'd like for mental health research to be just as important and just as well funded.
Because guess what? A Stay at Homewood (the inpatient facility I'll be attending) can cost up to and over $20 000. For a 60 day program. That is a lot of money. But for someone who has tried everything else and still wants to kill themselves? It's the only option.
Shouldn't there be programs that people my age aren't terrified to participate in, without living in debt forever?? Shouldn't communities offer young adult programs so they don't have to be too scared to attend group therapy with a bunch of adults?? Maybe your community does, let me know if they do, that's awesome.
Not to mention counselling and psychologist cost upwards of $150 per session. Many sick people can't afford this. Psychology is something that should be covered by OHIP, in my opinion.
Now, I'm lucky. I'm in a position where my parents support me. But I'm here trying to raise awareness for those who can't.
To put it in perspective... 3 years ago I had mono over the summer. Less than a year later I was diagnosed with depression. I worked through it the following summer because I had never had a full time job. I got paid minimally for a pretty stressful job (lifeguarding). The summer following I had brutal vertigo and couldn't walk, much less work. I worked a seasonal job at Chapters over last Christmas, but it is very hard to get a job for a student. The past 3 years I have made maybe $5000. Total. Because of my health.
My current money struggle is a debate really. I want to get an iPad mini to travel with, work with for school, and for Homewood (and for England). My laptop is old and runs too slow for taking notes (it crashes or refuses to turn on in class). It's also pretty heavy to lug around. The dilemma is, I have just enough money for the iPad. I would have about $150 left. Total. That's all I'd be worth. And the hope is to go to England and to sightsee and do things with my friends. Not really a possibility with $150.
And there is no way I could ask my parents for help because they have to pay the Homewood bill. And my tuition. And my rent back in kingston because I wasn't allowed to sublet. And they will be paying for the England trip itself. All that makes me feel tremendously guilty. An iPad seems frivolous in the long run. Everything seems frivolous in the long run. My mom bought me shoes the other day and I wanted to cry I felt so guilty.
So money is a struggle. And if Bell is going to donate money to Mental Illness programs then I'll wear their logo on my face because they deserve the publicity.
Thanks for reading <3
You're all wonderful
And thank you to those who contacted me with support, you make my day
It seems a common thing, not wanting others to spend for me. Money, time, care.
ReplyDeleteEvery day I've tried to make it on my own; perhaps on the belief that I wasn't worth their effort, perhaps if I could carry myself financially, emotionally, I wouldn't have to lean on them for support -- to weigh them down, the little it would do to ease the strain on my shoulders should I share.
I've always been an introvert and an analytic. Observe, consider and conclude. This type of thinking has done two things for me over the last many years:
1. Created a self-referential cause-effect theory for my current condition, keeping me spending more time considering causes of depression than seeking help
2. Set me aside from the majority of people. Aside, as I refer to it, not ahead or behind, and not alienated as others may consider it. I've been aside, and learned.
One thing I can tell you from my self-imposed social isolation is that though money is the basis for value in a lot of things, it is not an indicator of the worth of a human being. Your parents care more about your health than the bills, and your friends certainly consider you worth more than the sum of your bank account.
And while you may be focused on those who are trying to help you, keep in mind that your writing is also helping others.
Chin up, heart open. There are better things ahead.
~~ Cheers,
A fan of cheesy speeches.