Happy Days
The past couple days have been good! I have had more energy than before. I have grocery shopped, and gone to yoga and been doing physio stretches. Today I didn't even nap, after spending most of the day out and about!
A lot of my muscles ache and I am worried about over doing it, but right now I am ecstatic about what I have accomplished in the past 2 days.
Anxiety and depressed mood have been low. My first meeting with the new psychologist was interesting because I was in such a good mood I didn't have much to say. She has me completing thought records, which I don't really like. I always forget to fill them out or that I even have them. And I am pretty good at curbing negative self talk. I can challenge "I always screw up" or "I'm lazy" in my mind with "well I accomplished this" and "look how hard I am trying to get better/ my illness is making me tired". Many people don't notice these thoughts as they pass through their minds: "I'm such a screw-up", "Why me", "I'm a loser", "I'm worthless"... and just automatically believe them. It takes a lot of practice to forgive yourself and challenge these thoughts. Because they aren't true. They are negative and they are clouding our minds. This is part of what it is to be Mindful. You must notice these thoughts, notice what you're thinking. This is something I work on everyday.
Last night I stayed up late (for me). I was up till about 10:45, which is amazing as I haven't seen 10pm in over 2 weeks. And I have a great group of friends who were proud of me for that. I know most people my age are up till 2am, and don't nap everyday, but for me this is progress. Last night was when I truly felt hopeful England would be a possibility. It's something I don't want to miss and sort of puts a deadline on my recovery, which I know is bad, but having something to look forward to is healthy for me. And I can always continue treatment once I get back after. I just need to energy to get through long days in Europe. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I am trying to remain as busy as I can without over doing it to prepare.
Be nice to everyone you meet today,
Jess
A lot of my muscles ache and I am worried about over doing it, but right now I am ecstatic about what I have accomplished in the past 2 days.
Anxiety and depressed mood have been low. My first meeting with the new psychologist was interesting because I was in such a good mood I didn't have much to say. She has me completing thought records, which I don't really like. I always forget to fill them out or that I even have them. And I am pretty good at curbing negative self talk. I can challenge "I always screw up" or "I'm lazy" in my mind with "well I accomplished this" and "look how hard I am trying to get better/ my illness is making me tired". Many people don't notice these thoughts as they pass through their minds: "I'm such a screw-up", "Why me", "I'm a loser", "I'm worthless"... and just automatically believe them. It takes a lot of practice to forgive yourself and challenge these thoughts. Because they aren't true. They are negative and they are clouding our minds. This is part of what it is to be Mindful. You must notice these thoughts, notice what you're thinking. This is something I work on everyday.
Last night I stayed up late (for me). I was up till about 10:45, which is amazing as I haven't seen 10pm in over 2 weeks. And I have a great group of friends who were proud of me for that. I know most people my age are up till 2am, and don't nap everyday, but for me this is progress. Last night was when I truly felt hopeful England would be a possibility. It's something I don't want to miss and sort of puts a deadline on my recovery, which I know is bad, but having something to look forward to is healthy for me. And I can always continue treatment once I get back after. I just need to energy to get through long days in Europe. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I am trying to remain as busy as I can without over doing it to prepare.
Be nice to everyone you meet today,
Jess
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