What it Feels Like... A bad day in the life
You wake up. It's 3am. One of the few times of day you're not exhausted. Except you should be. You roll over and in about 45 mins you're back asleep. If you're lucky, it'll last till between 8-9. You get up, pet the dog that has loyally slept beside you for maybe half the night. Your cat runs by and mews because he wants to be fed... even though he's probably already had 2 breakfasts.
You get maybe half way downstairs before your muscles start to ache. Your low back is tight and sore. You sit in the kitchen and are reminded by the 5 pill bottles on the counter that you need to take 2 now. But you've already lost any energy the night's sleep gave you. It takes you about 5 minutes to work up the gusto to get up and go to the counter, fill a small glass with water and swallow one medium sized pill and one massive multi-vitamin. You might gag on the multi-vitamin, because you're not great at swallowing pills, but you have to or you throw off your whole week, which could throw off your entire recovery.
You go back to sit, maybe check Facebook, or pick up knitting, but you don't last long as your back is sore when you sit. About 15 minutes you get through before forcing yourself to make breakfast. Your knees crack as you get up. Exhaustion clouds your mind. You may forget something in the oven, or put the milk away in the glass cupboard. But you get food. The food tastes bland and you eat because you have to, you're not really interested in it. This is how most meals go.
During the day you may go out with your mom, but you have to sit down every so often. A grocery shopping trip will wipe you out for the day.
You talk to your friends at school, who live in a sort of normalcy you crave... going to class, writing papers, partying, hanging out together. You wish you could visit at least but the drive would be impossible. Driving for over an hour and your brain starts to get cloudy and you're dangerous on the road.
Around midday you need a nap. This makes you feel shameful. A 19 year old shouldn't have to nap to get through the day. But your bones feel tired. Usually the animals will nap with you, making you feel much better. The nap could last 20 mins or 2 hours. It depends how busy you were in the morning.
The afternoon consists of waiting for dinner. You've tried tv, knitting, reading, etc, but really you can't focus. Your back is aching. A fog has settled over your brain making concentration impossible and life difficult.
Occasionally you'll have an appointment, usually your mom drives you and after you're more exhausted.
Dinner is painful. Sitting hurts your hips... stabbing pain through your joints. The food tastes bland. You squirm uncomfortably in your seat for the entire time.
You go to have a bath after to make the pain manageable. Bubble baths are your refuge, it doesn't hurt so much there. You can breathe there.
You've probably forgotten your 6pm meds so you take the 2 small pills now.
It's more time wasting until 9ish when you can justify going to bed.
And the cycle continues.
This is how my day went, it isn't always this bad. But waiting for the fibromyalgia clinic to call makes me more and more sure I really need to see them. I have lots of physio stretches I'm doing that I hope will help, but I don't know if there is more to the pain I feel.
Anyway,
Thank you for your crazy inspiring support,
Love,
Jess
You get maybe half way downstairs before your muscles start to ache. Your low back is tight and sore. You sit in the kitchen and are reminded by the 5 pill bottles on the counter that you need to take 2 now. But you've already lost any energy the night's sleep gave you. It takes you about 5 minutes to work up the gusto to get up and go to the counter, fill a small glass with water and swallow one medium sized pill and one massive multi-vitamin. You might gag on the multi-vitamin, because you're not great at swallowing pills, but you have to or you throw off your whole week, which could throw off your entire recovery.
You go back to sit, maybe check Facebook, or pick up knitting, but you don't last long as your back is sore when you sit. About 15 minutes you get through before forcing yourself to make breakfast. Your knees crack as you get up. Exhaustion clouds your mind. You may forget something in the oven, or put the milk away in the glass cupboard. But you get food. The food tastes bland and you eat because you have to, you're not really interested in it. This is how most meals go.
During the day you may go out with your mom, but you have to sit down every so often. A grocery shopping trip will wipe you out for the day.
You talk to your friends at school, who live in a sort of normalcy you crave... going to class, writing papers, partying, hanging out together. You wish you could visit at least but the drive would be impossible. Driving for over an hour and your brain starts to get cloudy and you're dangerous on the road.
Around midday you need a nap. This makes you feel shameful. A 19 year old shouldn't have to nap to get through the day. But your bones feel tired. Usually the animals will nap with you, making you feel much better. The nap could last 20 mins or 2 hours. It depends how busy you were in the morning.
The afternoon consists of waiting for dinner. You've tried tv, knitting, reading, etc, but really you can't focus. Your back is aching. A fog has settled over your brain making concentration impossible and life difficult.
Occasionally you'll have an appointment, usually your mom drives you and after you're more exhausted.
Dinner is painful. Sitting hurts your hips... stabbing pain through your joints. The food tastes bland. You squirm uncomfortably in your seat for the entire time.
You go to have a bath after to make the pain manageable. Bubble baths are your refuge, it doesn't hurt so much there. You can breathe there.
You've probably forgotten your 6pm meds so you take the 2 small pills now.
It's more time wasting until 9ish when you can justify going to bed.
And the cycle continues.
This is how my day went, it isn't always this bad. But waiting for the fibromyalgia clinic to call makes me more and more sure I really need to see them. I have lots of physio stretches I'm doing that I hope will help, but I don't know if there is more to the pain I feel.
Anyway,
Thank you for your crazy inspiring support,
Love,
Jess
Comments
Post a Comment