Sick girl gets sick

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Today is hard.

My cold is brutal.  I barely slept last night and today I can't breathe very well and my head is so stuffed up.

I'm having a really hard time handling being sick and still struggling with the depression

I feel lonely

Not good enough

Not strong enough

Not smart enough

Like a failure

Like I cannot, will not, beat this.

And I'm not even sure if I mean the cold or the depression or the fibro or everything all at once.

Honestly I don't know if I'm just posting this to whine or what.

I'm lost and hurting.

I realize though I can't only show the good in my life though. And this is the real life view on how I feel.

I'm desperate for help, but don't know what would help.  Or who can help.

Friends, family, doctors, they all ask what they can do.  I DON'T KNOW. I just need help.
I know I'm not actually alone but I spend a lot of time in an empty apartment talking to my cat.  I could definitely call or text someone but I feel like a burden and like my problems should just be my problems.

I'm my own worst enemy, and so here I sit, alone, constantly on the brink of tears, wishing someone will just give me a pill to make the pain and the sad and the stuffy nose go away.

What do I do.


Comments

  1. UBC cwsc16 Jan 2018, 19:09:00

    I know you're over 20 but I really recommend Kids Help Phone. They are trained counsellors instead of volunteers. They can be great help at times. Hang in there.
    I'm still rooting for you. Love,

    -Your Biggest Fan<3

    ReplyDelete

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